Loving each other when you get old
Regine Wörner took this endearing photo, Aug 19, 2012
2012
The
Year of Rolf's Fall
Many
Pictures
Water
Leak under the House
Many Visits by Friends
The pleasure of
seeing the grandchildren grow
Rolf breaks his hip bone
Cornelius
and Calliope come for Christmas
Loving
each other when you get old
Regine Wörner took this
endearing photo, Aug 19, 2012
18 Jan to October.... A Water Leak in Living Room?
Our
dining area after Jaime Galeano cut open the floor – the heater
coils are visible in front.
For months there was a dark spot
under the dining table. It sometimes apeared wet. I concluded that
the warping of the foundation had broken the seamless in-floor heater
copper tube. When Jaime in huge dust clouds had opened the floor, we
found nothing... We had he heater pressure tested: there was a crack
in the foundations but no leak. Jaime put some steel bars in and
recast the foundations.
Where came the water from? Jaime suggested
that it seeped in from the flower bed in front of the window. He took
the plants out and reinsulated the flower bed. I suspected old
galvanized water pipes. I had those capped of. Still after cleaning,
the spot in the carpet returned.... Finally another contractor
suggested, that the carpet had been cleaned using aggressive
chemicals, which removed the carpet's soil-resistant coating, so it
collectes dirt on the spot..... That's where it is now. A new carpet?
On another day....
12 March Barbara has lunch at Basia's with Kris, Anna, and Laura
Basia
invited Kris and Anna Malkievich, Barbara and her friend Laura for
lunch, transportation for Barbara included....
After essentially giving up driving – Barbara became an expert in riding LA's buses – several friends came to her rescue. Foremost Basia and Mira who took her every other week to do a huge shopping at Trader Joe's, depite that Basia had in 2011 come down with lung cancer. Basia was lucky, Kaiser recruited her into an experimental, bio-molecular cancer treatment, which rapidly killed her cancer cells – albeit only temporarily, the cancer reappeared elswhere.... Later she entered a second bio-molecular treatment at UC San Diego, which by the end of this year was stiill ongoing. All through her trials Basia kept up a cheerful normal life, a great help to Barbara
5 April Easter
Barbara's
easter eggs 2012
As every year Barbara painted a new, different
set of eggs for the Romans and us.
April Easter Susanne in Rome
.....With the Romans to Positano.
Rain
clouds over Positano, photo Cornelius
In the Easter Week Susanne flew to be with her newly beloved brother in Rome, who with his whole family whisked her from the airport to the Amalfi Peninsula. They stayed in upper Positano and despite rain went on a hike through the steep village to the sea.
She brought back a profusion of photos which you can admire on Cornelius' new photo-site.
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Later in the week she met with Carolyn, and they explored the gardens of Rome
Susanne
in the Orto Botanico di Roma, Botanical Garden photo Carolyn
11-14 April Eva Scherwitz stayed with us and Babette Babich and Tracy Strong took us out for lunch
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Eva Scherwitz from Tübingen was on an interview tour for her PhD thesis in political science. She stayed a few days with us. At the same time Babette Babich and Tracy Strong drove up from San Diego expressly to take us out for lunch at our favorite place in the Palisades.
Babette is professor of German
Literature at Fordham University in NYC and the head of the “New
Nietzsche Society”. Her husband Tracy is “Distiguished
Professor of Political Sciences” at UC San Diego. During
university vacation they congrate with her cats at his house in La
Jolla. I met them through the internet over some photos of
Greece-1953 on my website.
Babette is a whirlwind of intellecual
energy with an endearing heart. Naturally she also speaks German....
She came armed with a latest model professional camera and took a
profusion of photos of us. Too many to show. I selected three shots –
one of myself....
12 April Barbara takes Eva to her favorite galleries
Japanese
avantgarde sculpture at the Blum and Poe Gallery in Venice, CA, photo
by Eva
4 May Barbara has a second colonoscopy check-up: - she is free of cancer!
7-9 May Susanne spends the weekend of her Birthday with us
Unwrapping
Susanne's presents
Barbara
Selbdritt
(self-thrice)
End of May Anneliese and Peter visited the Romans
They flew to Rome, stayed a few days with Cornelius in Monterotondo and then went to Venice. It was not a happy visit, the weather was cold and rainy, Peter arrived with a cold, and both suffered from jetlag. But Anneliese took many photos of the children, of the beach house, and the soon to be abandoned Monterotondo apartment.
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11-16 June Anne-Cecile and Ulysse visit us, - alas, there is only one picture!
Barbara
and the Kasliwals took AC to a theater performance, photo Basia
A rare visit and nobody took pictures! – Anne-Cecile had no camera and am at fault... AC's first visit without Cornelius....The weather was cold, overcast, and unfriendly. Finally AC bought a fishing rod for Ulysse and while he fished for the elusive fish from Santa Monica pier she read.... We were too dazed, and Barbara could not drive them around. No playmates for Ulysse.The only event was a theater performance to which Pari and Basia drove them. A real shame.
2-5 July and 4-5 August Kelly visits briefly on he way to and from Kathmandu
For over a year Kelly had been
invited by her firend Lilly to spend a month at Lilly's aunt's
orphenage Amar Dhar in Godawari, outside Kathmandu. Kelly would pay
her flights and $15 per day for her part of a room, she would eat at
Ama Dhar in exchange for help with the children. I encouraged her,
and Barbara made a substantial contribution to her travel funds.
She
drove to LA, stayed a few days mostly with her sister in
Hollywood, and flew via Bangkok and New Dehli.
7 July-4 August Kelly in Nepal and Bangkok
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Kelly and Lilly explored Kathmandu together - it was the middle of the monsoon season – but it was the children at Ama Dhar who received her with open arms and completely beguiled her. She returned a changed person, picked up her car, drove to Denver in 20 hours, and threw herself into her work at Chipotle.... A great success.
6-21 July Marc and Angel off and on here
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Marc loves the desert. This must have been his eight's visit. For the second time he brought his new companion Angel along, a quiet, thoughtful woman with three girls from a previous marriage. They stayed with us a few days, and in between they drove way into the Majave Desert.
Aug 2-20 Cornelius's Balkan trip: Montenegro, Bosnia, and Hungary
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Photos from Cornelius' photo-page
To me it sounded crazy to go camping in this recent war zone with 3 small children. But apperently with an Italian license plate and French passports (Cornelius has one too) it is entirely possible, especially in Montenegro. The border crossing to Bosnia was a little difficult because of the car insurance – as it was in peaceful times. Sarajevo looks like always. They even went to Srebenica, Bosnia, and visited the graveyard of the 1995 genocide. From there they somehow drove to Szeged across the border in Hungary, where a student of Cornelius just had had a new baby.....
Aug 12-17 Barbara in Denver and Santa Fe with Susanne
Mumin
and Susanne in Santa Fe
Barbara
dressed for the opera with her walking stick
Equally crazy in diferent ways was Susanne's idea to take Barbara to Santa Fe to the opera.... Barbara steeled herself and flew to Denver from where Susanne drove her to Santa Fe and back. Susanne had never been to an opera performance. They saw three, and met Arleen Glikbarg, who goes there every year. A great effort on Mumin's part.
Aug 13–21 Meanwhile Regine Wörner with Simon and Mareike took care of Rolf
Simon
and Regine embracing R & B, photo by Mareike, Simon's Stuttgarter
girl friend
Regine and Simon had stayed with us for a week a year earlier. They had enjoyed themselves famously and longed for more.... Regine declared herself willing and capable to take care of me and the household during Barbara' absence. There was only one minor problem, Simon now had a girl-friend. Practical and wise Regine simply invited Mareike to come along!! - We got along well, and after Barbara's return they stayed a few days longer.
Sep 1 The Romans move from Monterotondo to Conca d'Oro in Rome
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Child-friendly Monteretondo was a heaven for the children as long as they were small. Now they needed better schools and an urban environment to grow. Anne-Cecile tired of riding a moto-scooter to work, found a penthouse apartment on the 8th floor of a newer building next to the Aniene park in northern Rome – for 1600 Euro per month. A new subway branch takes them to the center of town in 5 minutes and a number of good schools are within walking distance. Sandra their universal house factotum followed them. A perfect solution.
Sep 2 Ulysse admitted to the Scuola di Danza del'Opera di Roma
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Ulysse had been dancing Hip-Hop and ballet in Monterotondo. He won admission to the Dance School of the Roman Opera and there practices every evening! Over Christmas/New Year he was selected to dance the role of the little king in the ballet “Don Quixote” – and was actually paid for it! A completely new prospect.... |
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November 27, Cornelius visited Marga in Tübingen
Marga's
last portrait by Cornelius
Marga turned 99 this year. When Barbara calls her, she is often confused revelling in memories from the War Years. A faithful Tübingen lady, Barbara Süss, visits her often, talks to her and reads and writes her letters, but it is Cornelius, the “Lightman”, whom she waits for.
It would be her last portrait: she died in her sleep on January 19, 2013.
Sep 3-16 Christine and Rudolf Scharlau's from Hagen visit
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Christine fondly remebered their lively visit with us at Easter 2010. Our situation had changed. We had become much older; Barbara did no longer drive... I tried to persuade them to go on a tour of the Indian Country: but they wanted to be with us. They shared the daily chores with us, Christine cooked a dinner on my birthday, and Rudolf installed a new internet connection to Barbara's computer – which the sun and the sqirrels had eaten to shreds – and drove the car to Barbara's favorite galleries and a symphony performance. We had a quiet time with them with talks and discussions, but it was not as up-beat as in 2010.
Oct 5 Rolf's Fall: he breaks his hip bone
And then I had a foolish accident, I fell on my butt in the bedroom. I had sat on the floor reading a book, and when I got up lost my balance. I new something was wrong, I could not get up. Peter had taken Barbara somewhere, and so I lay on the floor for an hour. When they found me, Peter called 911 (the emergency ambulance/firestation). They took me to Santa Monica Hospital emergency, where, because of crowding, I was parked in the hallway....
This accident with it's consequences would become a severe test of Barbara's love and endurance. I am still not back– January 2013 – to normal, cannot stand freely and travel with a walker or in a wheel chair.
In the same night I was taken to our Kaiser Hospital, where an x-ray showed a complicated break of the neck of the femoral bone (hip bone). Not too bad; a very competent, young surgeon put in a plate and screw next morning, of which one cannot see anything anymore.
Oct 9-25 Rolf transferred to Culver West ReHab Center
Kaiser decided to discharge me into a rehab center, where I was supposed to learn to walk again. And that was where my ordeal began.
Culver West Rehab is the worst hospital facility I have ever set foot in: overcrowded with Medicare (who also paid my expenses) patients, who sat in long rows in the hallways in wheel chairs swaying to rock-music from someone's radio – noisy, dark, and dirty: a Dump.
Within 3 days Dr. Mariano, the excellent and personal medical director, determined that I had picked up a enterococcus hospital infection of the bladder. He had me put on a urinary catheter and filled me with powerful antibiotics, which produced an explosive diarrhea (into diapers!) for 14 days.... I lost 30 lbs (15% of my weight) during these two weeks and worse, was too weak to perform the strenuous exercises the therapists demanded. Mariano had to discharge me into Barbara's care, when the Medicare contributions ended: a debilitated invalid who was barely able to lower himself into Barbara's car.
There was another aspect to the time at Culver West: for several days they gave me morphine to reduce my pain from the operation. I had no pain in my hip and stopped the morphine. One day I will describe the phantastic visions and nightmares I had during those nights.
Barbara heroically decided to drive again by sheer willpower and concentration. Every day she spent a couple of hours with me at Culver, and in the end drove me home.
Oct 25, 2012-Jan 2013 Rolf returns home
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Barbara rented a hospital bed, a wheelchair, bought adult diapers, and hired 2 Philippinos to help her care for me during the day. But she also had to do all the shopping, the cooking and the household, changing my pants at night, emptying the catheter bag, cleaning up, and bringing me all the things I couldn't get to. I slowly learned to use a walker, and we began to have our meals together.
My physical recovery was very slow. - I had been in poor physical shape before the accident. In December another setback occurred. A urologist at Kaiser determined that I had an enlarged prostrate, which pinched off the urethra. Dr. Kurzner performed an operation two weeks before Christmas. - The catheter remained until January 10 - when he returned from vacation.... During December-January Barbara hired Beatriz from Ecuador for two days a week to spend the day with me, so she could do the shopping.
Now I have to learn what my grandmother taught me when I was three: to pee on demand into a pot and to walk!!! That may take another two months....
25 Dec Cornelius and Calliope arrived and stayed with us until 3 Jan 2013
Our great hope was Cornelius' and Calliope's Christms visit. Planned for months before my fall, it resumed the role of a rescue mission, if not physically then spiritually and morally. Barbara searched for presents for her favorite granddaughter. She and Jeny found an American Girl Doll named Rebecca with long hair and an unlimited selection of outfits. And of course presents for every of Calliope's siblings.
They flew in on Air France via Paris in the afternoon of the 25th. Anneliese and Peter picked them up. They were still strong enough to have dinner with us and open the presents on the same evening. Jenny, Thom and Jack were there and, of course, Peter and Anneliese. Anneliese brought a cured ham and Jenny, Jack, and Thom each a self-prepared dessert. Jenny had bought the tree, and Barbara and I had put our old ornaments on - albeit, for the first time in our lives with a string of electric lights....
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Calliope was very quiet with her old “nonni”, grandparents. She understood us well enough, nodded or shook her head, but hardly said a word. At six-and-a-half one becomes selfconsciously aware of what one says and the mistakes one makes. Jenny had an easier time.
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One whole day Cornelius took
Calliope on a whale watching trip in the Channel Islands. They saw
only two whales but dozens of dolphins jumping and playing. And on
the 2nd of January they went to Disney Land with Cornelius' friend
Gemma and her daughter Katy.
They flew next day with Air France.
On Cornelius' wish Barbara drove them to the airport. “Oh,”said
he, “You drive very well!” - She dropped them off on the
curb, they were gone in a few minutes... As it turned out, they left
LAX 2 hours late; the Airbus 380 had been improperly refueled.
Calliope slept 8 hours on this flight. When they finally arrived in
Rome, there was nobody at the airport. Anne-Cecile had to take Ulysse
to his last Don Qixote performance at the Opera...
Cornelius' considerate love was the great gift of this Christmas. His equanimity helped Barbara and me to see our anxieties in proportion.
Dinner
for Two, December 2012
This “surrealist” photo has baffled most people I sent it to, yet it is a fitting symbol of our love with its many refractions and reflections. It was taken during dinner one night – I hold the camera – through the big window into the dark garden, where the lights in the olive tree, that Jenny had artistically arranged, were glowing. The scene in our beloved glasshouse is reflected on each surface of the two double-widow panes – the photo is not blurred by my hands' shaking. As it is, the opposite windows towards the sea reflect the lights in the olive tree, the Christmas tree, and all the candles in the room twice more. One of the beauties of the house at Christmas.
Pacific Palisades, 14 January, 2013.
Kitchen from IKEA
