Maren and Carolyn in San Francisco
2011
A Year of Surprise,
Anguish,
and
Good Friends
Carolyn
and Maren visit
Barbara and Susanne
in Germany
Barbara's cancer scare
Susanne comes to her
rescue
Jenny, Thom, and a new job with “Mad Men”
Barbara
gives up driving, takes bus and ACCESS
The Romans
Rolf's heart
attack
Cornelius arrives, Susanne flies in too
Christmas with
Jenny and Jack, Anneliese and Peter
Maren
and Carolyn in San Francisco
Carolyn
and Maren visit us
1-
4 January
On
her way back to München from a visit to Robert and Lorraine in St.
Helena Carolyn brought her new friend Maren along. Babara cooked a
big dinner to which she also invited Peter Grohs, Jenny, and
Christiane v. Messling. Maren teaches French and English at a München
Gymnasium, an intelligent, articulate though hard to charm young
woman.
Barbara
and Susanne in Germany
17-27
February
Barbara
under Susanne's wings in heavy winter outfits ready to take on
Germany
It had been Susanne's spontaneous idea: to fly Mumin to Germany to see Marga, her brothers and other friends before Marga might die. She would take her mother under her arm. She had 10 days for that, it had to be carefully organized..... Barbara was aghast, would she be able to survive this tour? How would Marga, her old brothers cope with this whirl-storm of American energy? But Suschen had already sent mails to the various people giving them fixed dates for a visit. Dieter exploded, how could she expect to be received at her convenience, they had other plans. So Barbara had to smooth the waves - and agreed to Susanne's planning.
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They flew to München, stayed, to be independent, at the Hotel am Markt and saw Carolyn at the Mays, the Grosskreutzes, and Dieter and Marlen, each for a few hours. On the third day they took the ICE to Hamburg and stayed 2 nights at Klaus and Lilo's. Ecki and Monika, Gerd and Thomas met them there. Of course Suschen had to see her bosom friends Gisela and Charley in Essen: As to be expected a great reunion!
Marga
at her 98th birthday in July 2011
In
Tübingen they took a hotel and visited old, impeccably dressed Marga
twice for a few hours. Christian and Evelyn and Karla and Martin
invited them for tea. To get from Tübingen to München still takes
half a day. They spent the night at the hotel and met Heike for
breakfast before flying home that night.
A
great Shock
On
March 7 Dr. Gardner at Kaiser found a small cancer spot
during a long-planned, routine colonoscopy of Barbara.
The spot
was small, it might not have broken the wall of the colon yet - but
the lab confirmed that it was cancerous.
Barbara
at Kaiser Hospital
29 March-2
April
Dr. Fleisig, an expert surgeon, who was probably Uzbegi,
despite her husband's name, immediately scheduled a radical
laproscopy operation to remove 10 cm of Barbara's colon.
She came
home on April 3.
Barbara
home after the operation
Susanne,
our angel in need, flew
in to
look after her mother
3
–10 April
Susanne
cared for her and Barbara using her mudra exercises
recovered quickly and
on
9 May an oncology test at Kaiser was negative:
The
cancer had not spread into her lymph system, She was
free of cancer!!!
How
to negotiate Los Angeles without
a
Car
2010 - 2012
For the past 2 years Barbara
had adamantly opposed my driving the car. In her opinion my reduced
balance and attention was a danger to other motorists. I slowly lost
my subconscious surety to drive.
Los Angeles does have a public
bus system, and she used it more and more often. In addition the city
supports a system of vans and taxis called ACCESS, which older
disabled citizens can use at much reduced cost ($2.50/ride). It
functions somewhat like the “dolmus” in Istanbul, only you need a
plastic card and order the transportation a day in advance.
In
June Barbara urged me to get an ACCESS permit, which after an
examination was granted:
Rolf's
ACCESS card
The
card permits a second person (Barbara) to travel with me. Using it to
get to a doctor's appointment at Kaiser, we soon learned that the
great problem was that it could take 2 hours for what was normally a
20 min drive by car, because the driver had to pick up 2 other
invalids on his way. A visit to the doctor's office became a 4-5 hour
affair.....
The card also allows one to use all buses in Los
Angeles free of charge - and this has, during 2011-2012, become
Barbara's preferred mode of transportation.
Barbara's worst
health problem is the painful neuropathy in her legs. An irreversible
deterioration of the nerves caused by her “Sjögren's Syndrome”,
a form of arthritis. Her feet are on fire, more or less all the time.
She controls the pain for a few hours with acetomenophen+30 mg
codein, her mudras, daily walks, and accupuncture treatments with
Judy Festa every 2 weeks.
During the later part of 2011 she
sometimes lost her ability to distinguish her right from her left
foot - making driving dangerous on some days.... She now has her own
Access card and spends hours on the buses to do necessary errands or
visit friends, concerts, or galleries. Once a week some good soul
(Basia, Mira, occasionally Jenny) take her to do major shopping.
Virgil and Stephanie Day take her to symphony concerts.... I stay
home. My hearing is no longer good enough for concerts, my legs and
heart don't allow long or fast hikes - Barbara thinks I am lazy, but
I enjoy writing and putting pictures together. They keep my mind
functioning and give me pleasant dreams. -
Still, this is briefly
our present situation: We love this house - we don't love LA or
California or the US. Cornelius offered to find us an apartment close
to theirs in Rome. I am not sure this is feasable. Maybe we will have
to find some outside help to come occasionally or daily - like Jean
Kahn and Pamela Meyer have....
Barbara
her Friends and Grandchildren
Free of the cancer
threat Barbara devoted herself again to her many friends and
dependants
Jenny
and Thom at Thom's class reunion at Anderson University, Indiana
Foremost
Jenny and her newly acquired boyfriend Thom, who is producing films.
With them she went to the LA Film Festival in June. A month later
Jenny, having waited patiently for her opportunity, was offered a job
as “post-production” girl on the “Mad Men” TV show. Lots of
hard work, good pay. She was ecstatic and finally took her own life
in hand. Thom was one of the benificiaries. Barbara cooked a
celebration dinner.
Stephanie Day came for dinner(June), Pamela
Meyer stayed overnight to once not have to care for Kurt (July). In
many walks to the Kahns she supported, Jean and cheered up
Parkinson-plagued Ben. - Not to mention her mail and telephone
dependents: Marga once or twice a week, her brothers, Katharina in
Dresden, Carolyn, Sophia, Susanne for an hour at a time - and
Cornelius all too rarely.
Alone or with some friend Barbara
saw several exciting contemporary art
exhibitions. To follow her excitement, I made a page
for her on my website.
Easter
Cornelius and AC in Apulia
April
2011
Cornelius, AC, and the three grandchildren in Rome are our
greatest joy - it's too unfortunate that they are so far away. But
Cornelius now has a photopage from which I copied some of his
pictures.
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A
Beach House for the Romans at Passoscuro
May
2011
Surprise news: For months Cornelius had been searching for a
weekend house somewhere. All through 2010 they had their eyes on an
abandoned bull stable in Montecopula, but its ownership rights were
inextricably garbled. Suddenly there was an outcry from Cornelius -
Anne Cecile had bought a furnished shack in the dunes north of Rome
airport for a mere 17'000 Euro! - Mind you, it is only a shack on
government land, but the sea is a mere 100 meters from the house with
miles of uncrowded beaches!
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Ben
Kahn Died
June 18
Ben had been ailing for more
than 2 years; his mind had been failing rapidly. Most of the time he
slept like a somnambulist. Jean (85) hired a string of nurses from an
agency, one for the day another for the night. She seemed constantly
at the limits of her powers. Barbara, as long as she was still
driving, visited them often, doing or going shopping with or for
Jean. Every now and then Alan or Jori came from Seattle for a
weekend. It was a relief for everyone when Ben finally died. - We
learned much from them, like the use of the Access transportation,
the limits and pleasures of Philippine nurses – Jean threw one out
who reportedly relieved Ben of his sexual needs....
Jori, Alan,
and Rick with their famiies came to the funeral rites at the
synagoge. We saw them in the afternoon. Since then Jean has become
very close to Barbara.
Basia
Recko collapsed
July
26
Basia (63), Pari Kasliwal's wife, was, completely
overworked, taken to Kaiser with water in her lung and heart. For
days she was in critical condition. They drained the water once a
day, and then the lab found cancer cells of an unusual kind in the
fluid. Barbara, who considers her a very special friend, was terribly
distressed. - Kaiser treated Basia with an experimental drug and
miraculously resurrected her. On August 14 Basia appeared in a wheel
chair at her son Andrew's wedding with Adrienne, which Barbara
attended. - In September Basia appeared almost fully restored, and
during the following months she or Mira, who had come home to care
for her mother, drove Barbara to Trader Joe's once a week for
shopping.
At Thanksgiving Barbara used Access to go to the
Kasliwals, like every year. I excused myself. My hearing in large
company has become too poor.
Cornelius,
AC, and the Children in Sardinia
July-August
The
Romans spend their summer vacation in Sardinia camping like we used
to with our children. - There exist many pictures, you can see them
here.
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They had bought a used extra long VW Diesel Camper
in Germany, imported it with great difficulty (European Union?) and
taken it on the ferry from Civitavecchia to Bastia. I tried to follow
them on the Google Earth map, but their route looks like a random
walk. The followed the east coast of the island south, rented a
motorized rubber boat to explore some rocky stretch of the coast and
a sea cave, and finally made a loop in the south. They drove back to
Bastia through the wild inland mountains.
Rolf's
Heart Attack
Night
of Sept 1
My
heart had been misbehaving for years. I learned a mudra from Barbara
to control its worst irregularities. In the nigt from August 31 to
Sept 1 I could not contol a more serious attack. Barbara called 911,
and within 10 minutes the van of the local fire brigade howled up our
driveway. It was all very dramatic. Six people descended upon me. The
chief sprayed some nitroglycerine into my mouth and four guys carried
me into the van on a stretcher. Over my protest they took me to St.
John's Hospital in Santa Monica; Kaiser had no emergency heart-attack
unit! At St. John's I was wired up and spent the night in a
comfortable intensive care room. Next morning two surgeons fiddled a
catheter from my crotch into the coronary. They sucked out two blood
clots and put in two stents - all without general anesthesia! – I
could hear them talking, “another half inch....”
I spent three
days there looked after by a flock of talkative, flirtatious young
girls...“let me see that incision. You are doing excellent.” I
felt like in heaven....
Eventually Kaiser insisted to sequester me
for a fourth night at their hospital in Hollywod before I could be
discharged. - Four weeks later I received a bill from St. John's for
$96'000, of which I
owed
the fire department $50 -
The remaining charge was paid by Kaiser, Medicare, or
disappeared....
Ever since I feel better than in the past 25
years. My irregular heart palpitations are gone completely. The worst
thing is, that I had to give up my 6 cigarettes per day. That still
bothers me, otherwise I'm in good condition – except for not enough
physical exercise (legs and body), which I hate....
After this
Schreck, my 80th
birthday passed with little
fanfare, thank God.
Cornelius
and Suschen visit their Father
October
13-19
Startled by Barbara's and my sudden health problems,
Cornelius made room in his tight schedule to stay with us for a week.
Hearing that, Susanne flew in for the weekend. Cornelius was
completely relaxed and concentrated. Together they cleaned the rain
pipes on the roof, repaired the sunshades in the guestroom, and
Susanne started an elaborate redesigning of our garden.
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Barbara
sewing Hats
December
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Christmas
is suddenly upon us and Barbara has taken her sewing machine out and
for 2 weeks designs and sews without any measurements of the girls.
Cornelius and AC don't have enough time in their busy lives to send
them to Mumin. The final chapeaux
are a splendid pair.
Who would help her buy a tree? Jenny and
Jack, a friend of Thom, come to her rescue, and a magnificent tree
appears in our garden on December 18.
Scott
Parris drops by for an afternoon
December 22
Scott,
a friend of Marc Hermans, is a computer whizzard who spends his free
life travelling in Southeast Asia. He has a woman friend in Los
Angeles and most affectionately visits us every time he sees her.
Scott
is also a great photographer with a powerful Canon camera.
He took this picture of us in the evening before he left again. His camera inspired me to buy myself a long wanted Canon G12 for Christmas, which would allow me to take such sharp photos in natural lightening. - After supper he helped me decorate the tree.
Our
Christmas tree next morning.
Christmas
Eve 2011
Jenny and Jack and as always Peter and
Anneliese spent Chrismas Eve with us. Over dinner the New Jenny sat
next to me, and I used my new Camera to catch her moods. In the past,
the minute a camera was around she had been trained to show her
splendid teeth in a uniform smile. Now she first flirted with her old
grandfather, then she became pensive and in the end allowed me to
read her the “Cats” poems by T.S. Eliot, while Anneliese enjoyed
a cup of tea.
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I love this girl.
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Pacific
Palisades, March 4, 2012
